ACT FOUR

FADE IN:

EXT. ACADEMY - MORNING

Xena and Gabrielle make their way unnoticed from Twickenham’s villa and begin to make their way in toward the city center.  In the distance, they can see and hear a stage being set up near the main fountain.

Gabrielle spots Homer standing tall among a group of his cronies, many of whom she recognizes from her own Academy days, including Twickenham, and one other.  Her face lights up in a smile.

GABRIELLE

That’s Euripides!  By the gods, I

haven’t thought about him in years!

He told the most awful stories!

XENA

(muttering)

They’re not much better now.

‘Gabrielle’ turns wide eyes to her partner.

GABRIELLE

Wait.  You know him?

XENA

Let’s just say we had some words.

(beat)

And if his voice is higher

than you remember....

Stopping, ‘Gabrielle’ lays a hand on ‘Xena’s’ wrist, halting her as well.

GABRIELLE

You didn’t....

XENA

Oh, I most certainly did.

GABRIELLE

When?  Where??  Why???

XENA

(succinctly)

Last night. At the reception. Because

he had some less than complimentary

things to say about you.

Gabrielle looks quite confused.

GABRIELLE

Are you sure we’re talking

about the same Euripides?

XENA

If we’re talking about the man

over there practically draped all

over Homer, then yes, we’re

talking about the same Euripides.

GABRIELLE

But that’s....  Why was he at the

party?  It doesn’t make any sense.

Xena shrugs.

XENA

Maybe he couldn’t cut it as a bard.

Decided to ingratiate himself

with the rich merchants instead.

GABRIELLE

No, Xena.  He’s not that way.  He’s....

XENA

It’s been thirty years, Gabrielle.

That kind of time changes people.

Even people you thought you knew.

Shaking her head, ‘Gabrielle’ looks over at the man in question who appears to be having a grand time with Homer and his compatriots.

GABRIELLE

No. Not Euripides.  I can’t believe that.

There must have been some other

reason he was at that party last night.

A slight smile breaks over her face.

GABRIELLE

(cont’d)

I’ll bet he was there for the same reason

we were.  To find out what was going on

and how to stop it, if he could.  He

probably ingratiated himself with those

men so he could spy on them for Homer.

The face itself might be Gabrielle’s, but the look of doubt is all Xena.  Seeing it, Gabrielle’s smile fades.

GABRIELLE

(cont’d)

At least admit that it’s a possibility.

Xena sighs, then nods.  Gabrielle’s smile returns.

XENA

We’ve got the next few hours to confirm

or deny it, so I suggest we get going.

GABRIELLE

All right.  Let’s....  Uh oh.

Xena looks up in time to see Homer’s entire group turn toward them, grinning and waving their arms in identical beckoning gestures.

HOMER

Gabrielle!

TWICKENHAM

Gabrielle!  We’re headed Stallonus’

villa to prepare for this evening!

Come with us!

GABRIELLE

(whispering)

What now?

Xena eyes the expectant men. It’s obvious they’re not going to take ‘go to Tartarus’ for an answer.

XENA

Go on as we planned. Head for the

Academy and do some snooping.

I’ll keep an eye on the rest of them

and see what I can find out.

GABRIELLE

Ok.  I’ll meet you behind

the stage later, alright?

Xena nods.

GABRIELLE

(cont’d)

And Xena?  It’s not that I mind my

reputation being tarnished, but....

I really don’t think Athens is ready for

“There once was a man from Arenis....”

Giving her partner the most withering of looks, Xena lengthens her stride and is soon within the grasp of Gabrielle’s old friends. As she watches her partner adroitly avoid the Roman hands and Russian fingers of the admiring men, Gabrielle sends up a quiet prayer that those same men will live to see the ceremony with most of their limbs intact.

CUT TO:

INT. ACADEMY - AFTERNOON

Gabrielle is walking toward the administration offices. She is watching the crowd already gathering for the ceremony and she knows by the time it actually begins; there will be very little room to maneuver through the crowd.

Slipping into the main section of the academy that holds all the administration offices, as well as the library, she is relieved to find it mostly deserted. There are a few students milling around, but they don’t look like they’re interested in much of anything, including her.

She takes a moment to read a sign on the wall, which directs her to the second floor and the Chancellor’s office.

GABRIELLE

Like taking candy from a baby.

Looking around to make sure no one is around, Gabrielle heads up the steps. At the very top she finds the hallway is locked off by a large gate.

GABRIELLE

(cont’d)

A cranky baby.

Looking at the gate, which reaches from ceiling to floor, she contemplates her next move. She leans down and examines the lock, scratching her chin; a smile slowly breaks across her face. Taking the dagger from her bodice, she places it between the lock and the gate. Efforts to pry the lock open are proving less than successful.

GABRIELLE

(cont’d)

I should have listened to Autolycus

when he wanted to give me lessons.

Of course the lessons he was offering... well....

She tries again to pry the lock and is getting more frustrated when it doesn’t show any sign of budging.

GABRIELLE

(cont’d)

Son of a....

Pulling the knife away, she beats the side of her fist against the gate in frustration, then almost jumps out of her skin as the gate opens pretty as you please.

GABRIELLE

(cont’d)

... centaur’s uncle. Heh.  Watch

out, Xena, I just might decide

to keep this package.

Carefully, so she doesn’t cut anything precious, she puts the dagger back and walks through the gate, making sure to close it behind her.

CUT TO:

INT. STALLONUS’ VILLA - AFTERNOON

A large group of men are gathered in a tight crowd, red-faced, shouting, and pointing accusatory fingers at one another.  Outside of this circle, Xena stands, arms crossed over her chest, eyes narrowed to dangerous slits, one boot tapping on the ground.

HOMER

What do you think, Gabrielle?

‘Gabrielle’ gives them all one long, sweeping look.

XENA

What I think is that if you don’t start

acting like men instead of a bunch

of overgrown boys, I’m gonna start

busting heads and be done with it.

A loud murmuring, punctuated by a gasp or two, fills the overcrowded room as the men react to her comment.

YOUNG MAN

(to friend)

I thought she was supposed

to be the nice one.

XENA

I AM the nice one.

CUT TO:

INT. ACADEMY - AFTERNOON

Moving carefully down the long hall, Gabrielle is quick to look about just to make sure her presence still hasn’t been detected. Treading lightly she continues down the hall, finding herself rather impressed with how easily it is to move so quietly in Xena’s body.

All her years with Xena and under the tutelage of the amazons, she has learned how to move without being seen or heard, but she had a feeling that everything Xena did was natural to the body she currently occupies.

She stops quite suddenly, almost as though the body has stopped on its own. She hears movement at the end of the hall. Pressing herself against the wall, she carefully peers around the corner to find two guards standing at the other end.

GABRIELLE

Perfect.  Just perfect.

Taking a deep breath and closing her eyes, she contemplates her next move.

GABRIELLE

(cont’d)

What are the odds they’re guarding

a door I *don’t* want to go through?

Looking around, she doesn’t find anything that she thinks she can use to take their attention away from their post.

Moving to the window, she looks out and finds that there is a thin ledge along the side of the building that could get her closer to the room in question.

GABRIELLE

(cont’d)

Nothing is ever easy.

Climbing out onto the ledge, she is very careful to make sure she has her footing before even attempting to take her first step. Sliding her feet, she moves across the ledge, inching closer to what she hopes is the window leading to the office. As she places her foot for the next precarious step, the ledge crumbles and she falls.

Having reflexes that are lightening fast pays off for her and she grabs at the ledge, stopping her fall, she hangs on the side of the building by her fingertips. Looking down briefly, she decides that falling to the ground below is not high on her list of objectives for the day.

With a groan and tremendous concentration, she pulls herself back up and finds her footing once again.

GABRIELLE

(cont’d)

Now I know why she likes a good

massage at night. Controlling

this thing is a chore.

Now trying to make her way without slipping again, she can feel the muscles in her body tensing and un-tensing as she moves. Finally reaching the last window on the side of the building, she pushes the wooden shutters in, hoping that the cracking of wood doesn’t arouse the attention of the guards on the other side of the door.

CUT TO:

INT. STALLONUS’ VILLA - AFTERNOON

The men have finally settled into smaller groups, each vying for the honor of being the first to tell his tale to what promised to be a massive audience.  Homer, already having decided that for himself, beckons ‘Gabrielle’ to his side, along with Twickenham.

HOMER

When Merikus begins to speak, we’ll

make our entrance.  Twickenham and

I will lead a column on from the left,

and I would like you to lead the

column from the right.

XENA

Fine.

Homer lays a hand on ‘Gabrielle’s’ arm.

HOMER

I would also like you to tell

the first tale, Gabrielle.

Xena turns wide eyes toward Homer, her mind scrambling to come up with something suitably Gabrielle-like to say in response.

XENA

That... I....  Thank you, Homer.

For that honor, but....

HOMER

I insist, Gabrielle.  You’re the best

of us all, and it’s only right that you

be given the honor of presenting our

case based on the strength of your skill.

Xena stares at Homer, truly between a rock and a hard place.  She well knows that Gabrielle deserves the honor being bestowed upon her.  But she also knows that she is not Gabrielle, and by her acceptance runs the risk of turning the honor into a farce.  Still, her pride in her partner’s skill and accomplishments leads her to answer in the only way she can.

XENA

I accept.  Thank you.

Homer and Twickenham beam.

CUT TO:

INT. CHANCELLORS ROOM - LATE AFTERNOON

The sound of footsteps comes through the door, nearing the chancellor’s room.

Dropping inside, Gabrielle immediately goes into a crouch, eyes and ears alert to any possible danger or threat. Her eyes fall on shadows just outside the door.

GABRIELLE

Just stay out there, guys. You

don’t want me to have to test

this thing out, do you?

The shadows stay beside the door as Gabrielle waits, then slowly they move away.

GABRIELLE

(cont’d)

Good decision.

Standing, she moves around the room. A swinging candle holder comes dangerously close to smacking her in the head but at the last minute, Xena’s reflexes keep her from hitting it.

GABRIELLE

(cont’d)

Whoa.

She ducks under the lamp and heads for the large, ornate desk in the center of the room.

Looking at the surface of it, she finds it covered with papers and rifles through them.

GABRIELLE

(cont’d)

Well, well. What do

we have here?

Gabrielle holds the parchment up to the light.

GABRIELLE

(cont’d)

A thousand dinars, huh?

Nice donation.

Gabrielle holds up another parchment, almost identical.

GABRIELLE

(cont’d)

Two thousand. Didn’t know

storytelling was that lucractive.

Maybe I should.... Nah.

Shaking her head in disgust she takes a seat in the large chair and continues to examine the desk. In the back, she finds a small panel. Pressing it, the small door pops open and she retrieves several scrolls. Unrolling them one at a time, she reads through each carefully until she finds what she thinks she is looking for. As her eyes scan the third scroll, she shakes her head, not believing what she’s seeing as the lines of text form themselves into words that shock her to the core.

GABRIELLE

(cont’d)

(anguished whisper)

No. Euripides. Why?

Putting away the other scrolls, she takes the last one she read and tucks it away in her bracer.

Standing, she looks at the window reluctantly. She walks over and peers out, then with a decisive grunt backs away and heads for the door.

GABRIELLE

(cont’d)

Let’s try the other route.

Gabrielle pauses and looks at the desk. She shakes her head sadly.

GABRIELLE

(cont’d)

I guess you were right after all,

damn it. All right, Euripides. You

and I are gonna have a little talk

right after I check in with Xena.

Going to the door she stops long enough to listen to the men talking on the other side.  A strange expression comes over her face, and she lifts her hands, clenching and unclenching them.

GABRIELLE

(cont’d)

Weird....

Her right hand curls into a loose fist, as though her fingers are closing around the hilt of a sword.

Gabrielle touches the pulse at her wrist, then slowly lets her hand fall. She looks at the door, and her eyes narrow, a slight smile appearing on her face.

Pulling the door open she is met by two VERY shocked guards.

GUARD 1

(completely surprised)

Hey!

GABRIELLE

Hiya fellas. Nice day

for a nap, isn’t it?

Before either of them can react, she grabs them both by the neck and knocks their heads together. They go limp as they are dragged back the room. She drops their bodies and steps back, looking at them intently.

GABRIELLE

(cont’d)

Wow.  That was different.

Gabrielle flexes her hands again, then she rubs them together and gets to work tying the men up.

Closing the door she starts back down the hall, she leaves the building as quickly and quietly as she made it in.

CUT TO:

INT. STALLONIUS’ VILLA - LATE AFTERNOON

Standing in one shadowed corner, Xena watches as Euripides, who has been rather quiet and evasive all day, begins to inch his way toward the door.  After a last furtive look around, Euripides slips out of the villa through a side door.

Taking in a deep breath, Xena pushes herself away from the wall and moves after him.

CERAS

Gabrielle!  There you are!  Please,

you must help me with my delivery!

Xena looks up at the large, triple-chinned man in the garish red robes and, praising her newly diminished physical stature, easily ducks beneath the massive arm set to swing itself about her shoulders.

XENA